Perhaps Apple can’t maintain its super confidentiality of years past. Could it be the company has somehow allowed the above high-resolution iPhone 5S porn to leak from its usually secretive clutches? Say it ain’t so.

This video flaunts the new iPhone’s three allegedly upcoming colors, including that luscious black/graphite look, the silvery white/off-white style, and that new gleaming “champagne” design. And looky there, that cheapo plastic-backed baby blue iPhone makes an appearance, too.

This could all be hooey. Keep in mind, we’re not even sure the latest iProducts are going to be called “iPhone 5S” or “iPhone 5C.” But in the absence of more likely guesses, I’ll just go along with the crowd and call them that for the time being.

Dammit, if these are the actual phones, the iPhone 5S will look almost identical to the iPhone 5. But it will be faster! It will have a fingerprint reader! It will have better 802.11 AC Wi-Fi!

I’m hoping for something more groundbreaking than this. Maybe these are mere decoys tossed out by Apple’s CEO Tim Cook and company, hell-bent on fooling everyone.

Not to ruin the video for you, but join me in suggesting that the hand model in this video might have considered a manicure before his appearance. At least a handwashing would have been in order before gracing us with 1080p close-ups of his well-traveled fingernails as well as an apparent bout with dry skin.

Back to the matter at hand: Here’s to surprises, Apple. Show us something new, not the same thing we iPhone aficionados are already carrying.

We’ll have to wait until Apple’s big event on September 10 for the truth.